The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
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Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
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Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
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Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
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Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
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Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
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Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
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Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
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Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
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Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
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Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
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Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
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Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
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Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
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Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
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Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
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Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
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Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
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Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
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Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
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Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
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Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
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Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
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Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
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Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
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Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
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Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
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Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."
It’s actually kind of depressing, looking at my desk; it is now devoid of the textbooks that usually weigh it down. This year had many enjoyable aspects, one of which, for once(!), was the academics. My senior classes were great, and relatively stress free. I usually pulled all-nighters to watch…
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
Take a look at this image, You see embedded spirals of green, pinkish-orange, and blue? Incredibly, the green and the blue spiralsare the same color.
The reason they look different colors is because our brain judges the color of an object by comparing it to surrounding colors. In this…
Brahms - Piano Concerto No. 2 in B-flat major, Op. 83
I. Allegro non troppo
II. Allegro appassionato
III. Andante
IV. Allegretto graziosoDaniel Barenboim, piano
Münchener Philharmoniker
Sergui Celibidache, cond.“I don’t mind telling you,” Brahms wrote to his friend Elizabet von Herzogenberg in July 1881, “that I have written a tiny, tiny piano concerto in B-flat with a tiny, tiny wisp of a scherzo.” When, some days later, he sent the finished manuscript to Billroth, it was accompanied by a note which read simply: “Here are some small piano pieces.”
Brahms’ Second Concerto is in fact a fifty-minute behemoth, a “symphony with piano” of the greatest ambition in which the solo writing, while brilliant, is always clearly in partnership with the orchestra and in the service of genuine musical development. It is a more extraordinary work than his earlier Concerto in D minor, though it took considerably longer to enter the standard repertoire.
From the beginning, Brahms discards traditional procedure: the poignant opening horn call is answered by a brilliant cadenza which launches the condensed exposition. The Andante movement features, unusually, a cello solo; Brahms would later rework this material into the Lied “Immer leiser wird mein Schlummer.” The concerto’s finale is a refreshingly light finish to this expansive, heavy essay, but escalates toward a virtuosic display of the highest order at its close.
Liszt said to Brahms of this concerto, “At first reading this work seemed to me a little gray in tone; I have, however, gradually come to understand it. It is pregnant with the character of a distinguished work of art, in which thought and feeling move in noble harmony.”
Brahms’ general advice to composers
- When you study music, the most important thing to learn is strict counterpoint.
- Writing variations is something good for the beginner.
- Usually the best ideas flow from the hand and mind without particular effort; these are the ideas which will endure in your compositions.
- Never begin the working-out of a composition before the whole thing has taken definite form as an outline on paper or in your head. When ideas come to you, go for a walk: then you will discover that the thing which you thought to be a complete idea was only the beginning of one.
